“No”, a word many of us are familiar with since we were infants thanks to our parents. They were just trying to keep us safe. Then there was the D.A.R.E. program once upon a time telling kids to “just say no” to drugs. Again to keep us kids safe. Well, somewhere along the line we started saying “yes” to too many things. Unfortunately, it was “yes” to things that are detrimental to our well-being.
Let’s go over a few scenarios where saying “no” would be way more beneficial for your health and overall well-being. Haven seen and heard many people suffer I want to help you not suffer the same fate by saying “no”. Too many “yes’s ” to wrong things will eventually build up and break you. What ultimately breaks you is the stress from whatever you agreed to. Stress can cause weight gain or loss, mental breakdowns, anxiety, and more if not kept in check. One way to keep it in check is by saying “no”.
Let us begin with dating and relationships. If you know someone to be verbally or physically abusive, it would be wise to not entertain them if they decide to pursue you. Agreeing to go out with or even worse enter into a relationship with such a person would open you up to their negative behaviors. Someone’s history is a good predictor of their future most of the time I found. If their negative behavior patterns have not changed for others, most likely it will not change because of you. Besides, that person must want to get better for themselves first this way their behavior is not contingent upon you.
They may be Mr. or Mrs. popular everyone’s talking about but don’t ignore the obvious signs telling you it’s a bad idea. Let them know you are not interested and it is a “no go”. If, for some reason, you still want to give them a chance, at least have some reasonable standards for them to meet and hold them accountable.
Next scenario, you have a goal to lose weight. Your circle of friends are not health conscious and eat tons of junk regularly. Every Tuesday and Friday you all go out to eat but you struggle with self-control and give in all the time to food you know that does not support your goal. Instead of agreeing to go out to eat all the time, decline, and/or offer another alternative. Food is not the only way to enjoy friends.
You have to tell your friends “no” sometimes. Also, by telling them no, you get to see where they really stand with you alls friendship. You don’t want to be a dictator with your friendships but you all should be looking out for each other’s best interests. I believe your health is one interest that really matters and should be of priority. Besides the longer you and your friends live in good health, the more time you’ll have to possibly spend together.
Another example would be deciding whether or not to purchase something. Too many times we say “yes” to buying things we do not need putting an unnecessary burden on ourselves causing unwanted financial stress. If you are married and/or have a family, your mismanagement of finances can trickle down affecting your relationships with your loved ones. So many fallouts happen over money. People marriages have ended in divorce, cars repossessed, wages garnished, and unfortunately, even violence came about in extreme cases.
There is no point in trying to impress yourself or people who don’t care about you by buying crap you don’t need. There will be some cases where spending may be absolutely necessary. In those cases, you need to know when to say “no” in terms of managing your money properly. Just because it’s “no” now, doesn’t mean it has to be “no” forever. Learn to manage and budget your finances properly to best serve your needs then get some of your “wants”. If in a relationship, I suggest you learn how to communicate effectively with one another and make decisions as one when it comes to spending.
The final scenario I want to cover is when people keep asking of you but never give back. All they do is take from you. I have witnessed this and experienced it first hand. These are not the people you want around you or in your circle. They are leeches and will suck the life out of you, leaving you with barely anything to run on. You want to avoid these people and keep them out of your life like the plague.
With this type of individual, you will have to set boundaries if they must be in your life for some reason. Make the time you have available limited. Tell them you have 10 minutes only to talk and state only what’s important when talking. Another option when dealing with these types is to tell them what you are going to do or set the terms yourself. Do not allow them to continue to be selfish with your time and energy. If all fails, you may have to tell them they can no longer be in your life. It may hurt them and/or you but your sanity will thank you dearly. Start examining some of your friendships and relationships.
Saying “no” to people, yourself, and/or situations can really save your health or even your life in cases. “Yes”, is not always the best answer but rather “no” is. Learn to start saying “no” again and save yourself some time and energy. I’m pretty sure it can be put to use elsewhere for something positive where the exchange is neutral.
Be Healthy, Be Balanced, Be You